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I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde |
Top 10 Funny Quotations List
Funny Quotes #1
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Mae West
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Jimmy Durante
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
William James
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
Steven Wright
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra
I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.
Mel Brooks
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
Funny Quotes #10
Jim Wohford
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