Top 10 List -
Erma Bombeck Quotations

Check out these hysterical Erma Bombeck Quotations. I have gathered the funniest Erma Bombeck quotes for your enjoyment and entertainment. These quotes by Erma Bombeck will help you realize just how funny life is (or should be). Enjoy these great quotes!

My Favorite Erma Bombeck Quote Of All Time...

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck

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Top 10 Erma Bombeck Quotations

Erma Bombeck Quotes #1

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #2

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #3

Who, in their infinite wisdom, decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #4

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #5

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #6

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #7

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #8

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #9

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes #10

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."

Erma Bombeck

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